Things of Life

There are the rocks, petrified, unshaken sand, and gold.  I rely on consistency as if it's my daily water. My air, even.  A couple of pillars, a canopy, a door... then I can shed a layer of my skin. Outside, everything moves, like the winds...

As far as I know, I never ran over or hit an animal while driving. Not even a small rodent that jumps all of sudden from a roadside shrub. I was spared, I guess, because the road is full of such little animals killed by cars. In many cases, avoidance is impossible.  Today I saw a dead squirrel in the middle of the road. Besides pity, what caught my attention was her white paw lifted up, as if in her last moment of life she waved at someone above... Moreover, it seemed like she was waving at everyone who was passing, so I stepped on the breaks and paused a bit (I could). Not sure why I am writing more often about death. Maybe because it's familiar and strangely warm: I've known it early, and lately people I know are dying or nearing death, so it's part of... life. I can wave them goodbye with serenity, so knowing I lack power to change...  Sands are sinking and I am vulnerable...

I find it as wonderful and liberating to refrain from sweets as it is to indulge in them (a fairly new discovery). Only the lifespan of each feeling differs. I prefer the lasting sense of freedom from sweets vs. the temporary feeling of pleasure from them. A bit of pleasure in a pool of problems will get lost and matter less. Sugar--  maybe the understated,  unrecognized, greatest drug, but definitely a king...

First, I saw a crochet chicken by his pillow. He told me a girl at his school made crochet animals for a couple of kids, and asked him too about his favorite animal. He chose chicken because it is what he loves to eat. So, she made him a chicken. Nice! Not too long after, he was like "Mom, a girl likes me, and I like her too."  "How do you know she likes you?" "She told me so..." Next, he is more secretive and cautious when I enter his room. He lets me know he is changing clothes. As if he is afraid I would see his dick or his last hairs gathered there.  "Dude, I am still washing your dirty boxers." In support of his first crush, I suggested him to invite the girl out when we'll be going to a restaurant or something, so they can spend some time together outside school. But she was faster and proactive. She invited him to go with her to the fall festival that just came in town, and go on rides, eat, whatever people do at a faire. I drove him t...

I climbed a tall mountain and picked up a rock. I wrote everything on it like on a stela.  Then went to the middle of the ocean and let it fall to the deep. I flew away afterwords. It would be a miracle to find the rock one day, when walking on the beach...

                                                   Toamna asta vine cu o dorința tăcută după ceva ce nu știu încă sa definesc.                                               Ceva ce se simte aproape, dar încă nevăzut, si neatins.                                       O vibratie viscerala ce mă șicanează puțin, mă ademenește,                                Ceva ce mișcă fiecare dimineața ce-mi clincăne la geam.                          Vreau sa mă îmbrac special ca sa intampin necunoscutul dulce.   ...