Things of Life

I am matter and spirit, All in one-- Something fixed as rock, No way to separate. I feel me in each, So clearly distinct... Although, somewhere, The invisible link Keeps me  going. If I would be just matter, I'll fall like sand At ocean's bottom; If just spirit, I would get lost above... But being both, I keep my buoyancy in the middle...

     I can feel it. There is sustained pressure especially for a woman that's getting older, to hide any signs of her aging, even to the point of having fake elements on/in her body and compromise health to enhance look and sex appeal. I resist it not because I am not interested in beauty; I naturally am. But I believe beauty here is grossly misunderstood and highly commercialized.     A  saying in art sounds like... if you can't hide something, show it with style. It is a rather a desperate act to employ temporary solutions like make up, or constant hair dyeing, that will dump loads of chemicals in your body; or have regular surgical interventions that would make your body look abused on the long run.      It seems like hair dyeing is a big one. A woman who does not color her white hair is perceived almost like a careless and irresponsible one. As if one can control the pigment of her hair as she can do with weight. I am yet to know about a ...

     Everyday, I am going farther to a point in my life. I am relishing this journey of self-discovery and growth, and start to see that I am actually trekking on a very big loop, and tend to move closer to where I left. I return to my roots, to the hearth, to the womb, to the earth...      What I subconsciously established in childhood, now I consciously return to as to the most pure and real thing. Then, I've planted trees and forgot about them; I ran like wild. Now, I see that a forest has become of them, and long these trees to shelter me, to nourish me, to give me rest.       Life is a big return...

     Although I was born sometime when winter was waving its icy claws to let the first flowers of spring come through, I was a summer girl, always longing for it as if life was only there...      One time I decided to despise winter, and stick with summer as much as I could. To forget perhaps that winter ever was. Maybe cold was something that could be defeated. Maybe it was just in my mind...      So, fall weather was easy, and I found myself in February still wearing light clothes like a summer hooded tee and a scanty denim jacket. Walking briskly in the morning with the jacket unzipped... Not too bad--I told myself-- and somehow made it through the whole winter. I don't know... maybe it was just a very mild winter. But spring came in no time, then summer. I lived through the seasons like a tree...      I am indeed like a tree, living with the seasons, dressing, undressing, searching for sun, water, loving birds and the...