Personal truth

    "I need to live my own truth," she said announcing that she is no longer a girl, but a trans man. She asked nicely to be addressed with he/ his/ him because it would be disrespectful otherwise. 

    Unfortunately, as I write, I cannot align with her wish; I still use feminine pronouns when mentioning  her because--it dawned on me--this is my truth at this point. Her simple request for different pronoun usage is not as simple as it seems; it's basically asking people to deny their own truth because she wants  hers.

    The fact that I know her personally makes me pause and ponder. I have met trans people before, but  perhaps due to disconnection, I moved on quickly. I know there is a struggle on their part, though... I stop a little just to imagine her situation and try to understand... So, how is it to not be comfortable with your biological sex, and the way you look...? I may speculate in an attempt to answer...

    Born in an interracial marriage,  she got more gens from the darker parent as it usually happens since these genes are somehow stronger. For some reason, in our cultural understanding of beauty darker is generally perceived as inferior,  although there is special beauty in many people of darker complexion, or hair, or eyes... No wonder we associate white Greek statues with  "classical" beauty even though they were once brightly colored, even gaudy. 

    She does not possess innate more masculine features, but maybe she did not feel as beautiful as a girl... There is an identity crisis...I do not know... Girls go trough all this drama of the necessity of being beautiful... So, now she is doing hormone therapy to acquire more man-like features, and made her hair nordic blonde.

    But queer theorists nowadays say that biological sex is not an indication of the actual sex because this is more like a social construction, and they explain the century-old fallacy of gender binary. Oh boy...things were so simple when I was a child...I would. check cats under their tails to know if they are males or females, and I was pretty good at... Thankfully I do not need to do something similar with humans :)) because there is an undeniable array of features that make a man a man and a woman a woman. 

    Because trans people are transitioning, so to speak, from the biological sex to the other, it is probably justified to say they are somewhere in between. One time my five year old whispered in my ear, when we were in a room with such person: "Mommy, that person is a boy or a girl? I did not know...So, really, it is hard to use the same pronoun for both a man and trans man, for example; it would not be fair. Therefore, the queer theorists should invent new pronouns for these people if they came up with the new sex category. To avoid confusion...

    You see, I am feeling like I live in the kingdom of the naked king, and I have to praise the king's nice clothes, when he is obviously naked. Just because certain people want to live their own truth, should I go ahead and step on mine?

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