Things of Life

     "I love you! We are bonded by unique relationship and connection, you are my special friend..."      "My sister, love you to the Moon and back..."      How should one feel when such love affirmations are bestowed upon...? A fire seems to ignite inside the soul before she (most likely) can ponder on the meaning of the words and the magnitude of such love...       As I unexpectedly received such grandiose declarations from women whom I've had little of interactions and intimacy, although flared up a bit, I kept my reservations because life has taught me that love takes time. Nonetheless, I was open to nourish such relationships with everything I knew it meant love of friends, more specifically women friends.       Once in a while, I meet such gals at some gatherings. I gladly expect they would want to spend some time with me, but I am often hit with inexpressive glances, formal waving or smiles, and ...

     I should write about death since it's becoming more and more part of life itself as time passes... More often now, people that I knew have died, and I hear about others having serious diseases, so death is looming there... Sure, explanation is simple: as I am aging, people older than me that I've known longer are reaching the end of life; also, I am more aware of death at this point in my life, and pay more attention to such events than when younger and death seemed surreal. It's very real now...      They are they, and I feel somehow excluded, but I know that one day death is gonna come near me, too.  Being healthy and avoiding disease (although a lot nowadays) is not gonna solve the problem of death; it's only gonna make it a bit more peaceful, I suppose; can I say more beautiful...? What I am left with is an attitude, my attitude towards death...      I am smart enough to not fight death. I am not going to fight it. I cannot embr...

Today I saw the mountain  With white-sprinkled beard Like an old man... He is well groomed and handsome, Why not ask him passing by, If age is something to fear...? He answers so I shall know-- "Let aging be as peaceful As white snow..."

     I am not afraid of rain. When it rains I am not turned away from going outside... I was swimming one time in a lake while raining and did not know why a guy was frantically waving at me. Lightning. I had forgotten that one... in my excitement of being between two waters...      I walk, and walk in the rain... In the desert, an acidic smell is released when raining, as the first water hits the soil. The land is so dry and thirsty that a reaction occurs when water fights to penetrate it. I came to like the smell as it's associated with long wished humidity and clean; or maybe only now I get to feel the smell of the vast matter around...       It is a form of catharsis: water pours from the sky and cleanses the land. The world cleanses itself, and sheds away its burdens... I-- in the midst of it...     Another year has begun...

     I was waiting for my street car at the usual stop, and was staring in surprise at the tableau in front of me. It was like a movie still whose narrative I knew, nevertheless it felt shockingly intriguing... A rerun, but what was going to be the end this time...?      Right across the street-- in my tableau,-- it was  The Good Samaritan Hospital . On the cement near the sidewalk, at the bottom of the main portal where the Emergency Entrance  stood imposing, there were a yellow comforter and other bedding items, all spread in a messy manner; a smear of color though in a grey landscape. I could easily distinguish the form of an adult human body partially covered with those blankets. I had a view of the behind area of the body, which was also the one that was not covered.       I could see that the person was wearing a diaper, and judging the bare bony hip, I reasoned it was a male. He was curved mimicking the womb positio...

Travel long and wide, Wishing for snow... As if white flakes Will make it glow. Trees are witnesses Of my return; Road seems endless, Soul not forlorn. I don't run from life-- There is no way; But to embrace it Hard and strong.

     Who would have thought...? In a day when nothing seemed out of the ordinary... To slip through a hole like Alice in Wonderland... But for me it was no Wonderland, but a dark world where people suffer, cannot do normal activities, they are in pain and cry for help, where disease and death are looming. I mean... I vicariously knew how hard it was for sick people to deal with life, but I got more than ever to feel it myself, to have it... to know it first hand...      A simple accident while showering, overzealously polishing my heel. A sharp pain on the side, then loss of ability to move. Excruciating pain, and crawling like a creature of the earth. A few hours like that, then hardly moving. A muscle strain. Rest, ice, oils helped. Better everyday, then coming back home through the same hole... Running like a deer again.      Happy as if life it's not simply granted, but it's a miracle...